He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize