i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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