The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
