I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Terrible idea I love it
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
