At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize
