when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
my nose is crying tears of wow.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
