grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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