Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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