So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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