I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My bed smells like the plague
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
