Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
