is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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