i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just gift wrapped bread.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
