also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
