it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
