WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
