I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She told me I should be a condom model.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Randomize
