BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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