ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
