how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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