His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize