are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
