haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
wow bdsm is so cute
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