to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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