I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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