Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
