So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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