You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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