just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
50% drunk capacity currently
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
