apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
