I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
