I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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