my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
