He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
