I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
