Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
