There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
