FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
