id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
