The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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