now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
