During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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