apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
