good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
