There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Randomize
