carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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