Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
