3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
