There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize