Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
