420 ftw
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize