someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
