I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize