I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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