if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
