Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
