just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
