He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
