Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
