We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
