He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
