i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
