You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
