i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
