He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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