I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
