Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
