dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
