is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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