Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize