I think scott just propositioned me for sex
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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