we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
