She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
