glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
