ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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