Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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