Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
