Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
