Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
