Just mADE A PArabola og urine
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
