We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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