I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
