Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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