You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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