Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
