I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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